Gustavo de Almeida e Marcele Fernandes săo cariocas, casados e rubro-negros. Ele tem 40 anos e trabalha de noite. Ela tem 27 anos e trabalha de dia. Os dois se encontram nas poucas folgas que restam, nos posts do blog e, quase sempre, nos sonhos também.
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26.07.07

A bunda e a sinergia

iris

Como alguns já devem ter percebido, eu, Nicholas Name, trabalho para uma empresa do ramo de comunicação. Há uns nove anos, eu trabalhei nas empresas do doutor Roberto Marinho. Em termos de iniciativa privada, garanto que não há nenhum patrão melhor: salário de mercado, alimentação, creche, transporte, médico, etc. Até mesmo adesivo para parar de fumar o doutor Roberto disponibilizava para os funcionários. Há jornais que sequer pagam 13º e cagam solenemente para dissídios e aumentos, mas na casa do doutor Roberto, nem pensar. O que talvez seja um dos segredos da Globo ter certa hegemonia – quando digo Globo me refiro a revistas, jornais, rádio, etc. Os caras tratam o funcionário de um jeito tal que só mesmo um chefe muito imbecil pode causar no empregado a vontade de ir embora. E é claro que isto acontece lá.
Agora, eu vou dizer algo a vocês: foi nas empresas do doutor Roberto que inventaram a Sinergia, essa palavrinha carismática que, me parece, entrou no lugar de “Downsizing” sem que ouvíssemos um locutor dizer “A Suderj informa”. E quase me lembro do dia certo. Mas sei quando aconteceu. Foi quando li na Intranet da empresa um alto executivo comentando sobre a viagem que fizera aos EUA. Mais precisamente, a visita a algum grande grupo noticioso, não sei se Bloomberg ou CNN. Dizia ele:
“Fiquei encantado com o desempenho de um jornalista lá, chamado por eles de ‘produtor de conteúdo’. Fiquei observando, sem ser notado, o rapaz apurando a notícia pelo telefone ou rádio, e imediatamente enviando uma nota pela Internet. Em seguida, ele puxava um microfone e gravava um flash para o rádio. Depois, ele puxava uma minicâmera, um cabide móvel que tinha um paletó, vestia e emitia um flash para o canal de notícias da TV a cabo. Finda esta operação, o rapaz passava a escrever para o jornal, repercutindo a notícia com especialistas e desenvolvendo um material mais mastigado para o leitor do dia seguinte”
Este profissional até já existe, mas por iniciativa própria – há sujeitos no jornalismo carioca que, no dia em que morrerem, umas cinco vagas de trabalho serão abertas. Entre estes, há aqueles que, bem, espero ver logo substituídos desta forma, mas isto não vem ao caso.
Caso é que a Sinergia veio, ficou e se estabeleceu, e hoje é quase um crime o sujeito viver sem uma vida on-line, ou seja, sem anunciar para o mundo qual matéria exclusiva ele vai publicar amanhã. Uma notinha, cinco linhas, e pronto, você pode voltar para seu mundo de papel. Ou um spot para rádio, por favor. Tem um vídeo? Coloca lá.
O mais curioso é que a tal Sinergia tende a dar mais certo mesmo quando tudo é feito pelo mesmo camarada, mesmo que depois de 11 meses ele, em vez de férias, requeira asilo político no Líbano em busca de paz e tranqüilidade. Afinal, não há risco de acontecer como na tarde desta terça-feira (finalmente cheguei onde queria chegar!), em que a bunda de Íris Stefanelli aparece como perfeita em um site do portal Globo.com e necessitando de reparos em uma coluna de fuxicos, patranhas e barrigas do Extra On Line, que também pertence à Globo, diga-se de passagem. Cliquem nos links e confiram:

Aqui, “Siri” está caidaça, precisando de Photoshop para transformar ruga em bunda. Aqui, “Siri” é tão gostosa que a redação de Playboy comemora o fato de NÃO PRECISAR USAR PHOTOSHOP (o que, convenhamos, nem numa foto da Capela Sistina hoje em dia seria possível):

A conclusão a que cheguei: a bunda da Íris é dotada de um serviço de Contra-Inteligência, que apurou a nota do Extra On Line e logo articulou uma Desinformação. Ou, sei lá, o Alemão tem um serviço de Inteligência que apurou a nota do portal da Globo.com e articulou uma nota no Extra On Line falando mal da bunda da “Siri”.
Seja como for, se houvesse uma pessoa só escrevendo sobre a bunda de íris Stefanelli, acho que a informação seria mais precisa. Francamente, não estou defendendo a escravidão, mas posso garantir que a maioria de nós jornalistas usa tanto a bunda nas relações trabalhistas que esta parte do corpo já se tornou nossa especialidade. Acreditem: bunda é com a gente mesmo.

por Gustavo de Almeida as 00:59:11
Permalink • 242 Comentários



Categorias: Comportamento, Cotidiano, Televisão



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Nome: Adamastor Eugênio Miranda
Url:
Num país que comenta sobre bunda, não tenho nádega a declarar.
27.07.07 @ 04:41
Nome: leonardo
Url:
Tanta gente com tanta bunda e eu cumenas bunda.
27.07.07 @ 08:17
Nome: Gustavo
Url:
Peraí, faltou especificar qual o verdadeiro uso da bunda pelos jornalistas... se é dos outros ou a própria....
27.07.07 @ 16:31
Nome: Gustavo de Almeida
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Caro Gustavo,

lamento lhe informar que é a própria, pelo menos no que tange à negociação com os patrões


Um abraço
28.07.07 @ 04:39
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ola vc tem bunda muito linda em
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Bunda gostosa é prá ser comida. Brasileiros tem como preferencia nacional as bundonas...
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